The Reactor

- Blurb -

I tore the arse of my pyjamas one morning, about a year before he died, and my father sewed it up perfect in a few minutes, just like that. I was looking at them this morning actually, his line of white stitches. It' s beautiful really. They' ve held. The Reactor is a memoir about absence, loss and regeneration, written like the pieces of a puzzle. After the sudden death of Nick Blackburn' s father, who suffered from manic depression, he embarks on a labyrinthine journey to excavate his grief. Without memories of a father-son relationship that held formative meaning, it is at times a desperately lonely mission. The only photograph that he possesses of him and his father is when they are both in McDonald' s holding strawberry milkshakes. How do you create an existence when all you have to work with is a void? Blackburn turns, instead, to the quixotic nature of destruction - both natural and human-made - and repair. He uses a repertoire of film, music and pop culture to locate, identify and accept emotional instability. The result is a shining, meditative and spirited account of the transformative qualities of grief. The Reactor represents a thrilling turn for narrative non-fiction - and is a work of lasting fragmentary beauty.